“E le fefe ai lo’u loto” – My heart shall not fear - a meditation by Faautu Talapusi

This heartfelt and authentic meditation was preached by Faautu Talapusi on Monday 17th August
The accompanying liturgy for the Ecumenical Prayer cycle prayers for the Pacific can be found here.

Every evening, growing up, our family would gather together for prayers as most Samoan families do. And every month my two sisters and I were given a verse or a chapter within the Bible to memorize for the following month’s evening prayers. At the time, it felt like a burden and it was sometimes done reluctantly and at other points, especially long ones with much resentment, because instead of going out to play… I was stuck home memorizing verses upon verses.

I started to think and pray about what message I wanted to share with you today. I asked myself, what is the biggest issue I am facing, and how is God guiding me in discerning a way forward? And boy I should have been more specific because I came up with a LOT of issues which I guess is always part of one’s journey. And as I thought and thought about this… I realized that in all these “issues” I’m dealing with, there were always two constants – the first one, and this is very familiar to everyone was fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of consequences, fear of being judged, fear of being rejected, fear of not being good enough, fear of losing something or someone important… fear. And the second constant was more positive, and this came from snippets of some verses I memorized years ago “O le Atua o lo’u malamalama ia, ma lo’u faaolataga, o ai ea se ou te fefe ai” – The Lord is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear. “E le fefe ai lo’u loto” – My heart shall not fear. “Ina faatalitali atu ia I le Alii, ina loto tele ia, e faamalosia foi e ia lou loto; ina faatalitali lava ia I le Alii” - Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!

These verses and the many which my dear parents imposed on us (and I say this lightly for today I am thankful for that) have accompanied me in my life through its ups and downs. There are many times, I can get so caught up in my fears that I begin to doubt – sort of like when David asks for reassurance when he says Do not turn your servant away in anger, you who have been my help. Do not cast me off, do not forsake me, O God of my salvation! And I think it’s not a doubt about God, but a doubt that these fears will overcome my thoughts and actions and eat me up inside such as How am I going to own up to an honest mistake and not fear the worse? Will I be able to trust a friend again despite their lies and dishonest actions? Do I have it in me to go forth and be the best I can be in all aspects of my life? Can I do it? How will I do it? And the questions keep coming and coming - but it’s like, no matter what….God is always there, accompanying me – always the constant, always reminding me that He loves me – despite all my flaws, my shortcomings, my let downs and my doubts. That even if I don’t know what the future holds or how I will deal with things, God’s love is going to get me through it all, just like it got me through the last 28 years I mean, He did send his only Son Jesus Christ, to share the Good News and eventually put him on that cross for me and you didn’t He? If that ain’t love… I don’t know what is…

And so today dear friends, looking at the bigger picture:
Each and everyone of us in this chapel, have personal matters to grapple with, struggles which can sometimes overtake our lives. We each have issues we must face and must address be it within ourselves, within the family, with friends, at work and/or in general.

For the WCC, the Central Committee is coming up next week and true, it will address a lot of questions many of us have but there will certainly be a lot of unknowns after that and this can be applied to many organizations today – will it get back on its feet financially, what about the programmes and their direction and how about the staff? Is there anything certain in its future?

For the Pacific Islands, its churches and communities – there is the constant threat of climate change amongst other things – when the water levels rise to the point that our islands are inundated and uninhabitable what then? How do you deal with a whole country without land, not a single inch of land? Is that still a country? How do you take a culture, its people and identity and transport everything to a foreign land? How do you tell people that they must leave the land that buries their placenta, and their ancestors under water? How does one do this?

For the global community, it’s even more overwhelming and absolutely staggering. HIV AIDS, poverty, war, violence, political instability, famine, natural and man-made disasters, religious intolerance, the financial crisis etc etc etc….

Do you see how these can get a hold of us, overcome us, never let us go and eat us up from the inside out?
I do. But I also see our God’s awesome love. Constantly there. Accompanying us. Guiding us, through the doubts and fears towards His light, telling us that we must continue in our struggles, we must do what is right, we must live our lives as a witness to the Gospel, we must keep up the fight for justice, for peace, for tolerance and for love – within ourselves, amongst ourselves, in our work, our family life and all around us.
For as the apostle Paul said “neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

This is our light and our salvation.

Amene

Our next song, is a continuation of today’s meditation.